


3AM fics

by solarflarestares



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, General gayness, Happy Ending, these will all have happy endings i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:44:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11739219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarflarestares/pseuds/solarflarestares
Summary: a series of oneshots that I write in the notes of my phone when I can't sleep. These are pretty unedited and unbeta'd so sorry for any mistakes. these are pretty much just for fun! and to clear up space in my notes, lol. Will definitely include Kotoumi, but may include other pairings eventually.sorryifthisisreallybadijustlovekotoumiandsometimesihavetoletItOut





	1. homecoming

Umi couldn't remember the last time she'd been so excited for Christmas.

She had distracted for the better part of the month of November. She couldn't focus on much of anything without her mind drifting back to her girlfriend. Kotori had been studying abroad in America, and their semester was coming to and end. This was Kotori's last semester there, and Umi couldn't be more grateful.

Kotori being away was something that Umi was absolutely not equipped to deal with. After all, this was the first time they had really been away from each other for a decent amount of time--not only since they began dating, but since they were kids. The two of them and Honoka had always been inseparable.

So when Kotori left, Umi was lost in a way she couldn't have anticipated. She would never tell Kotori, of course. Umi wanted nothing more than to support her and her ambitions. Kotori knew she missed her, but she had no idea how crazy Umi had been going without her by her side. 

Umi couldn't wait for Kotori to come home. The closer it got, the harder it became for her to focus on anything else--especially her own studies. All she could think about is how right it would feel to be wrapped up in kotoris arms again. Umi had missed kotoris physical presence so much that it hurt. Umi wasn't a very touchy person unless it was Kotori, so her physical contact and affection had quickly dropped to a minimum without Kotori around. Save for Honoka tackling her or Nozomi... squeezing her, she was alone without any kind of intimacy, even the friendly kind.

At one point in her life, this would have been normal. But Kotori had changed everything about her life in what was, in her opinion, the best way possible. Now that she knew what it was like to have someone to lean on, she didn't know how she ever made it alone, or how she went all those years without feeling kotoris arm wrap around her waist as they walked down the street.

Umi thought about how grateful she was that Kotori felt the same way as her as she waited by the terminal gate. She was far too eager to sit, so she was pacing back and forth across the waiting area, too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice the stares thrown her way. She was so distracted that she didn't notice the flood of people pouring out of the plane.

"Umi-chan?"

Umi looked up to see what she had needed to see for months now; Kotori staring at her with all the love in the world and the warmest smile on her face. She noticed a tear fall down kotoris cheek at the same time she felt her own eyes drip. 

She tried to say Kotori's name but all that came out was a choked half-whisper. It felt as if she hadn't used her voice in years. Before she knew what was happening, they were walking towards each other quickly.

Umi would never be able to explain how intense the feeling of relief was when they met in the middle and threw their arms around one another. Umi quickly realized they were both crying into the others shoulder, and all she could do was hold on tighter and bring a hand up to brush through Kotori's hair.

Kotori choked on a sob when she felt Umi's hand petting her hair.

"Umi," she whispered. "..missed you so much." She buried her head even further into Umi's shoulder. 

"Kotori," Umi choked out, struggling to talk through her tears. This was new for her, as were most things Kotori caused her to experience. "please.. please stay with me," she sniffed, trying to pull herself together. "I didn't know what to do when you were gone. I need you. I'm sorry," she said as she felt more tears form behind her eyes. Kotori lifted her head to look at Umi in both confusion and awe. 

"You never have to be sorry for that," she said softly as she brushed Umi's bangs behind her ear and layed her palm against her cheek. "I need you too. More than you'll ever know. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

Umi didn't miss a beat. "I love you too," she whispered as she brought her hand up to Kotori's. "So much." 

When Kotori smiled brighter than she had ever seen and leaned in to kiss her, Umi forgot that she was ever gone in the first place.


	2. domino effect

Kotori knew it was an accident, she really did. That didn't stop her from being angry.

It was practice as normal. They were running through their latest dance routine when Nico stumbled a few steps. This caused the biggest domino effect that Kotori had even seen. Nico bumped into Hanayo, Hanayo tripped and knocked over Eli, and in the process of catching herself, Eli bumped into Honoka. The finale of this mess had sent Honoka flying at Umi, and had in turn sent Umi skidding across the hard concrete of the roof top.

She was by Umi's side before any of them had registered what happened. When she checked Umi over and found her knees and hands scraped and bleeding, she felt angry and concerned tears pool in her eyes. She wasn't one to get worked up like this--in fact, she was one of the last among the members of μ's to get upset, especially over something that was clearly an accident. But this was different. 

"Nico-chan, why didn't you watch where you were going? Why can't you all be more careful?!" She was trying to stay calm, but she could feel hot tears running down her cheeks and panic settling in the pit of her stomach.

The girls apologized wholeheartedly while sending worried glances kotori's way. They had never seen their friend like this. When Kotori wordlessly got up to get the first aid kit she carried to practices, they figured it would be best to give Kotori some space and time with Umi and they retreated through the door that led to the stairs. Eli forced the girls through the door, putting her foot down when Nozomi and Honoka wanted to eavesdrop, ushering them all downstairs to the club room.

"Kotori?" Umi said quietly as Kotori cleaned her cuts and began bandaging them. She couldn't help but to be concerned about her girlfriend. She wasn't the type to get upset like this. "I'm okay, it's only a few scrapes."

"It's not okay, Umi-chan," kotori said, half-whispering, all traces of anger gone. "You're bleeding. And it could have been a lot worse." Kotori was whispering now, and Umi could tell the angry tears from before had turned into tears of worry.

"Hey," Umi said softly. "Kotori, please look at me."

Umi felt her heart pick up when Kotori met her eyes. No one had ever looked at her the way Kotori did, and she was sure that no one ever would. Kotori was the only person who could look at her and convey all the love, care, and admiration in the world. Everyday she prayed that she was able to make Kotori feel the same when she looked at her.

"I'm okay now, I promise. Look, you fixed them all," Umi said, holding up her arms and looking down at her hurt knees. "I feel better already." She said, smiling at Kotori, trying to coax a smile onto her own face. She was trying her best, but she was ashamed to say she didn't have much experience in this. Kotori was usually the one comforting Umi, but Umi wanted nothing more than to help Kotori through whatever was going on in her mind. When Kotori attempted to smile back but couldn't pull through, Umi kept talking.

"Can I ask you something?"

Kotori nodded.

"Why did me falling.. upset you so much? Did something happen before this? You know you can tell me anything, Kotori. I want you to feel better. You know I hate seeing you cry. Please, let me help." Umi felt like she was almost begging. She couldn't stand to see Kotori so upset. Umi was of the firm belief that Kotori deserved to be happy all the time, and she wanted to see Kotori's radiant smile as often as possible.

"I'm sorry, Umi-chan, I... I didn't meant to make a scene. I just..." Kotori stopped and tried to wipe some of the wetness from her face. Umi reached up to hold her cheek, wiping away the new tears that fell with her thumb.

"You don't have to apologize," Umi assured her, looking at her like all she wanted was to wrap her up in blankets and let her take a nap. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

Kotori attempted a smile in Umi's direction and leaned into the hand on her cheek.

"It just feels like... It took us so long to get here, Umi-chan. To be together, and I guess that I just feel a little protective of you," Kotori said, blushing. "I couldn't stand it if anything bad happened to you. We're finally getting our chance. It wouldn't be fair," Kotori looked up and met Umi's eyes, and Umi felt the familiar feeling of her heartbeat picking up. "I love you, and it upsets me so much to see you hurt."

For a minute, Umi could swear that time froze. She couldn't believe it... Kotori loved her? Of course, Umi has loved Kotori for as long as she could remember. Her biggest fear going into their relationship was that Kotori didn't like her as much as she liked Kotori. She was so scared of it that she had never dared to dream of a world where Kotori loved her too. When Kotori broke their gaze and looked away with a frown, Umi realized that she needed to say something, and that as much as she thought she could sometimes, Kotori couldn't actually read her mind.

"I love you too," Umi blurted out. After holding it in for her entire life, she felt the dam break and couldn't seem to stop her mouth from moving. "I've loved you our entire lives, and I'm sorry it took us so long to get her. But we're here now, Kotori, and I want to make the most of every second we have. I'm sorry I scared you so much. I promise I'm okay. I'm always okay with you." Now it was Umi's turn to blush, as she quickly realized she'd probably said too much. When she saw the look of pure love and happiness on kotori's face, she couldn't bring herself to regret it.

Before she knew was was happening, they were in each others arms on the floor of the roof, happy tears rolling down both of their cheeks. It wasn't long until the kisses started. They were interrupted much too soon for their liking by the girls coming up from the club room to check on them.

"Hey love birds, Nico is really sorry she started this whole thing. She promises it was an accident." Nico said in her usual tone, although it was obvious she did feel bad.

"We're all really sorry, Kotori-chan! We promise we'll be more careful." Honoka said remorsefully. 

"It's okay, it was no one's fault. I'm sorry I got so upset, I was just worried about Umi-chan." Kotori smiled at the group, back to her usual chipper attitude. Umi could feel a weight lift off her shoulders at the return of her normal Kotori.

"Umi-chan, are you okay?" asked Nozomi. The girls looked at her in concern.

She locked eyes with Kotori and couldn't help but smile back at her beautiful girlfriend.

"I've never felt better."


	3. comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi i am alive and umi is comforted by her girlfriend. i found this on my old phone and apparently i wrote it like 6 months ago but i found it and i liked it so here i am

Umi could tell it was going to be a bad day when she woke up on Monday morning and saw that she had a text from Kotori. Usually, a text from from her girlfriend would have had the opposite effect, but the subject of the text is what set Umi on edge.

Good morning, umi-chan! I'm going to start working on costumes for the next show today, so remind me to fit you later after school! :)

It was common practice for Umi to dread this. She loved to spend time with Kotori, and obviously, her lack of willpower to get fitted for a costume had nothing to do with it.

Umi was self-conscious. She knew that it was illogical, but she couldn't help but to see herself in the worst light possible. As someone who strove to be the best, she always seemed to fall short in her own mind. Even Kotori's beautiful costumes couldn't make her feel like she looked as good as the other girls.

Umi pushed down her her feelings of self-doubt and tried to go about her day as normal, but the storm clouds in her head persisted.

\--

Kotori could always tell when something was on Umi's mind, and today was no exception. She didn't want to say anything at school as she didn't want to embarrass Umi, so she waited until they were in Kotori's room and they would have the privacy to talk about what was wrong. She was measuring the length for Umi's next costume skirt when she noticed the look on her face. The sadness she saw there broke her heart, and she knew their discussion could not wait any longer.

"Umi-chan?" Kotori asked softly, looking up from where she was on her knees with her measuring tape. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," Umi stuttered, putting on a small smile that Kotori could tell was forced. She pushed Umi towards her desk chair until she sat, and reached up to hold her hands where they rested in Umi's lap.

"Please, talk to me. You've seemed so upset all day. Let me help, Umi-chan, please. Tell me what's wrong." She said, half pleading. She was desperate to wipe the frown off of Umi's face.

"It's stupid." Umi said quietly, looking down at the ground. Kotori was so worried about her that she couldn't stand it. Her panic was only made worse when she saw the wetness gathering in Umi's eyes.

"Baby, please look at me," When Umi met Kotori's eyes, Kotori felt her heart sink. She couldn't remember a time where she had seen Umi more upset than she was now. "Nothing that's making you sad is stupid. Please tell me what's going on. I'm worried about you. You deserve to be so happy, let me try to make you feel better. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me." Kotori said softly, reaching up to brush Umi's hair back behind her ear.

"I just..." Umi sighed as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I never look good in you costumes. And they're so beautiful. Why can't I look like the rest of you?" Umi looked up and met Kotori's eyes, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Kotori. You try so hard to make us all look good and I make it so difficult."

Kotori knew Umi didn't think very highly of herself, but she had no idea it went this far. She couldn't imagine what Umi saw when she looked at herself. Kotori thought Umi was the most beautiful person she had ever seen. The fact that Umi didn't think she was absolutely gorgeous made Kotori tear up as well.

"Umi-chan. Look at me," Kotori said, sniffling but determined to make Umi understand how she saw her. She reached up and held Umi's cheek in her palm and kept speaking as Umi leaned into it. "You are so beautiful that I can't believe you exist. I've never seen anyone like you. Everything about you is so gorgeous. Everything, Umi-chan. I don't have to try to make you look good because you always do. It's the easiest job in the world. Please don't ever think that I see you as anything other than my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend, because that breaks my heart. I want you to know that I think you're perfect, even if you don't see yourself that way. Please don't ever forget that."

"Kotori..." Umi choked out. She was crying full force now after having held it in all day and hearing Kotori's words. Kotori wiped her tears away with her thumbs and pulled her down to the ground to sit on her lap, legs around Kotori's waist.

Kotori leaned up to kiss Umi on the forehead and wrapped her in the tightest hug she could manage. She held Umi until she had calmed down, Umi's head coming to rest on her shoulder in the crook of her neck.

Kotori leaned down to place a kiss on Umi's exposed neck. "Are you okay?" She asked as she ran her fingers through Umi's hair.

"I am now. I'm sorry," Umi said, burrowing further into Kotori's shoulder.

"You having nothing to be sorry for, Umi-chan. It's not your fault you feel that way, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I promise you're going to get through it. I'll help you, and we won't stop until you see yourself how I see you." Kotori said sweetly, kissing the top of Umi's head.

"I don't know what I would do without you, Kotori. Thank you." Umi said, hugging onto Kotori even tighter.

"You never have to find out." Kotori replied firmly, hugging her back just as tight.


End file.
